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Annoyed snake with smartphone fitness tracker app sees zero steps yesterday and today.
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Chameleon teacher isn’t sure if missing student is absent or best camouflaged color changing student in class.
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Chameleons change color to fool witch brewing spell in cauldron into thinking jar is empty.
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Crow flying over squished snake roadkill invites other crow on a long lunch.
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Tyrannosaurus dino at beach has red sunburn everywhere its short arms can’t apply sunscreen.
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Turtle caught hugging other turtle tells angry wife excuse he’s becoming a home inspector.
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Snakes fall in love when eyes meet from across Medusa’s snake hair head.
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Woman reads sleeping on stomach is unhealthy on medical website while turtle on laptop reads sleeping on back is unhealthier.
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Snakes can’t pay beer rounds bill at bar because they don’t have pockets so frustrated Saint Patrick drives them out of Ireland.
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Disguised snake in fake glasses, nose and mustache hides identity from angry Saint Patrick ranting at bar.
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Woman tells overweight Saint Patrick surrounded by junk food snack wrappers that he is supposed to be ridding Ireland of snakes.
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TSA Precheck turtle goes right through airline security without taking off shell.
