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Candy cane on smartphone loves crushes’ online profile photo on candies singles website.
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Snowman in love says date makes him feel all warm but it was peeing dog.
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Groundhog learns shadows make shaded smartphone screens much easier to read.
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Lady asks man if made New Year’s resolutions but he forgot & remembers be less forgetful reminder note in pocket.
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Dog breaks New Year’s resolutions to be careful where puts cold nose, shocks showering owner sniffing nude bum.
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Partying cats sleep & sit in boxes at New Year’s B.Y.O.B. bring your own box gathering.
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Autocorrected New Year’s texts spells noise maker noses, talkative champagne babbles, angry midnight mad knight & happy new rear butt implant surgery.
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Fat treadmill exercising peppermint thinks it needs more realistic skinny candy cane fitness goal.
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Scared gingerbread men audience watches gory broken cookies ungreased baking pan horror movie.
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Doctor diagnoses chimney soot covered Santa Claus’ Christmas season flue flu illness.
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Surprised Santa Claus gave himself large screen television Christmas present.
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Dad says pet dog Christmas present box is comforter for child’s bed.