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Annoyed pear wife with toy train obsessed spouse advises apple to find out passion fruit’s passions before marrying them.
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Chilly man mistook vibrating phone in pants pocket for shivering bum & missed wife’s text messages all day.
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Popcorn kernel popping menopause symptoms wake corn cob couple asleep in bed.
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Shocked wife cooking holiday meal asks guy to test gravy but he drinks whole bowl to be sure.
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Man tucked into bed with mosquito friends tells shocked wife that mosquitoes love him.
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Uncomfortable couple sharing bed with sleeping pet dog & cats dislike bedroom political redistricting.
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Owl wearing formal dress asks husband in suit if bum looks big but turns neck behind to see herself.
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Lonely smartphone in relationship remembers partner affectionately pinched screen when younger.
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Unexploded firework in couple was called dud when young but partner says they’re gone & we’re still here.
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Annoyed mom of toddler in stroller swearing at older lady says son has her eyes but father’s mouth.
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Neatly folded flat sheet at party wishes disheveled sheet lump date was more presentable.
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Stinky planet farting in bed tells complaining wife she knew he was gas giant when they married.
