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Wife gives husband birthday gift of dent puller, touch-up paint, and auto body gift certificate, he asks if there's something she needs to tell him.
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One fly tells another, Madeline, as she flies away in a huff, that when he says she looks like crap, it's a compliment.
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Bubbles the fish is upset with wife because she ordered stuff from home shopping network, making him realize what it means to marry a suckerfish.
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Famous last words from Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Albert Bugleweed, whose last words were "Honey, how's your diet going'".
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Wife tells husband, Albert, that expandability is a good feature for computers, not husbands, just as he has his mouth open extremely wide to eat an entire piece of cake.
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One fowl says since Gregory was cremated, he feels like he is with him - and there is a can of cream of chicken on the mantel.
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Husband faxes wife dirty diaper and asks for clean one in return because he doesn't know how to change the baby's diaper.
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One soft cover book wonders if his wife only comes to the beach to look at the hard covers.
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Male skelton tells female, Agatha, he suspected cheating, but didn't expect to find so many skeletons in her closet, there are real skeletons in closet.
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Wife gives husband present, hopes he likes it because she had help picking it out, gift is a dead mouse, cat is at wife's feet.
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Husband apologizes to wife for coming home late, says he hit every red light on the way, car has several traffic signals stuck to front.
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Husband orange tells judge he wants divorce because he wanted kids and wife never told him she was seedless.
