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A turtle uses an anti-theft steering wheel lock on his shell when he's not inside it.
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A man gets on the news for being attacked by a snake and an alligator at the same time.
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A turtle goes to therapy for claustrophobia.
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Turtles look for new places to live, but all the good ones are on a golf course.
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A man waxes his car with turtle wax, while a turtle waxes his shell with car wax.
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A snail is jealous beacause her husband is hanging out with a turtle.
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A turtle imagines giving a talk to shell-less turtles.
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A turtle with three heads uses a carpool line.
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Giant turtle, after swallowing man, scares workers away by asking them if guy looks good in a turtleneck, and man is visible inside turtle's throat.
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Children watching National Geographic are scared of mom because mother turtles abandon young, and mother chameleons eat their young.
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Turtle coming out of a store wonders where he parked because the parking lot is full of turtle shells that all look the same.
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Turtle stuck on back after falling off ladder agrees to take wife to dinner and movie and buy roses if she will turn him over.
