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Mother magic marker tells son he's not leaving house without cap because 90% of his moisture escapes through his head.
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Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
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Mom tells daughter ants crawled through floorboards, got into her casserole, Dad is taking care of them, while Dad gives the ants Pepto Bismol.
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Child asks mom how Santa will get in house since they have no chimney, Santa is on the roof with an axe.
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Mom worried about son, Joey, because he just got done sitting on Count Santa's lap, he looks pale, nervous, and something is wrong with neck.
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The mother of the bride writes the vows and makes comments about groom.
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Mother mentions twins with cloning machine, Dad realizes they don't have twins.
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The scarier version of Star Wars is when Darth Vader reveals he's Luke's Mother.
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John McEnroe argues with mother about his bathroom performance.
