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  • The Earth is applying Preparation V to his backside to soothe burning because of painful volcanoes that just won't go away.
  • Doctor operating says patient's rudeness and nasty disposition is treated by surgically removing the hair up his gluteus maximus.
  • Woman taking medicine labeled "Take Only As Directed" is following director's orders to take out one pill, then fill glass with water.
  • Doctor examines red and irritable rash on man's arm, and the rash calls him a cretin, and yells at him to get away and leave it alone.
  • Doctor tells patient who has dark stains under arms that he needs to exercise, eat healthy, and keep deodorant and spray paint in different cabinets.
  • Person wonders why box of cereal is empty, even though label says it has no sugar, no additives, no fat, and no calories.
  • Patient wants doctor's assurance before his physical that doctor's medical journals are more up-to-date than waiting room magazines.
  • Vein points to map of human body, giving weather report, including high temperature of 98.6, periods of high pressure, and frequent cold-bloodedness.
  • Doctor listens to pregnant woman's belly, she asks him how many heartbeats he hears because baby is in womb playing bongos.
  • Man tells co-worker Lynn is on phone, she's coming down with nasty bug, and Lynn is coming down from the ceiling with a giant insect.
  • Man asks giraffe with severely crooked neck if he can go in first to visit the chiropractor.


You searched for: health