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  • A woman says she's trying to avoid red meat, but all the meat at the barbecue is burned black.
  • A flesh eating fish is on a diet where he can only bite people's pinkie toes.
  • The Cookie Monster cheats on his diet by eating asparagus.
  • Marie Antoinette tries to become a dietician, but she lets her clients eat cake.
  • Godzilla and his wife eat golf courses to get more greens.
  • A woman keeps pushing her diet back until after the holidays, but once the holidays end her Girl Scout cookies arrive.
  • Godzilla needs to stop eating Mercury cars.
  • A godzilla eats shieks for breakfast and lunch.
  • Godzilla's wife nags him for eating too much starch when he eats a laundromat.
  • A man eating a low fat snack only has fat on the lower half of his body.
  • Different foods in stomach are told exactly where to go, with carrots headed for the eyes, milk to the bones, and cake to the butt.
  • At a doggie dinner party, one dog agrees to a helping of cat because he is cutting down on saturated cats, rather than saturated fats.


You searched for: diets