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  • Boy thinks about his day, which included eating spaghetti, playing games, cleaning his room, and shaving the cat, and wonders why his mom punished him.
  • Boy holding starfish asks dad, who is videoing, if video will be good enough for TV, dad agrees because shark is about to eat boy.
  • Husband faxes wife dirty diaper and asks for clean one in return because he doesn't know how to change the baby's diaper.
  • Student realizes she doesn't have her homework, but her dad's policital campaign speech, while Dad gives speech talking about liking Mommy and being pretty in dresses.
  • Child E asks Dad E if he'll grow up capitalized like dad, dad says yes, but he has to stay away from drugs, guns, and white-out.
  • Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
  • Man holds "Best Dad in the World" trophy, realizes it came from a gift shop and wasn't put to a global vote.
  • Mother mentions twins with cloning machine, Dad realizes they don't have twins.

  • The scarier version of Star Wars is when Darth Vader reveals he's Luke's Mother.

  • Boy thinks smoke alarm is a dad cooking alert.

You searched for: dad