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The real reason the Universe is expanding is because it eats too much ice cream.
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A woman talks about planets aligning and a man responds by saying the arrows on the Aspirin bottle are going to align.
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The earth sneezes its satellites onto the moon.
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Punxsutawney Phil's wife makes fun of the size of his butt.
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A chiropractor goes to space to fix Atlas' back and save the Earth.
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A dad sun has trouble raising his son after he argues that the world revolves around him.
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Saturn goes broke and pawns its rings.
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The Earth is applying Preparation V to his backside to soothe burning because of painful volcanoes that just won't go away.
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Earth in space with hand of God visible, someone on Earth tells friend to take telescope and tell him what he thinks he sees.
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Earth does a comb over to cover ozone hole in atmosphere.
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Earth notices a volcano, like a pimple, on his forehead before his date with Venus.
