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A woman's husband wants to know how often she updates her Facebook because their dog has grown so big.
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A little girl putting clothes on her doll is dressing her cat with her eyes.
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A man's relationship is like puppy love in that his girlfriend jumps on whoever's closest.
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A dog's girlfriend refuses to give him a treat just because he lay down.
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A dog geologist thinks a rock still might be food.
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A cat gets jealous when his owner watches YouTube videos of cats who are cuter than him.
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Dogs have to be at least 1 year old to look at dog porn.
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A cat steals a man's toupee at a party.
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A cat pretends to like the gift her boyfriend got her.
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A dog that's half chicken and half poodle is a cockadoodledoodle.
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A cat's insurance only covers every other life.
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A sled dog is disappointed because he thought he'd be sledding, not pulling a sled.
