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A dog tells a cat that he's wagging his tail, not twerking.
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A cat gets its owner something for her birthday, but the gift runs off.
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A man uses De-Skunker on a skunk instead of on his dog.
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A dog resolves to be less easily distracted, but he doesn't finish the note because he gets distracted by a squirrel.
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A cat lets a dog sleep in his own bed for Christmas.
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A cat gives another cat a fish from the tank for Christmas.
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A dog tries to eat turkey while a family is saying grace at Thanksgiving.
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A dog orders her husband the Death by Chocolate dessert.
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A woman says orange is the only black for her because her orange cat always sheds on her clothes.
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For cats, the pain given should be directly proportional to the pleasure received.
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Dogs at restaurants ask each other if they're going to finish their food.
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A man gets bitten by a dog, but it's a vampire dog.
