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Mark McGwire's parents have to hide because their son catapults his peas so hard.
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Charlie Brown gets his sweater's stripe tattooed on his body so he can't ever lose his shirt.
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Baseball fans have puffy hands and souvenir cups, while hockey fans have souvenir pucks and puffy eyes.
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Charlie Brown plays virtual reality games where his life is better.
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Baby seals can't play baseball because they're scared of being clubbed.
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The Mutant Ninja Turtles sit around watching TV and drinking beer when they get older.
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The Hair Club for Men stops hiring ex-umpires because they shout too loudly.
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A baseball player names his triplets Carl, Nick, and Baby to Be Named Later.
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A baseball player doesn't like playing on a field covered with Astros.
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An anteater is annoyed because he was in the nosebleed section of a sports game.
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A pitcher has trouble in the bullpen because there are bulls there.
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A baseball commentator says that a batter hit a baseball into a gap in the centerfield, but it's the store The Gap.
