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Sneezes can travel up to 100 miles per hour, so people should secure their nose studs.
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Luke Skywalker accidentally stabs his face with his light saber while trying to put a flashlight under his face to look scary.
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Two giraffes think they sense low-lying predators, but the third giraffe sensed a low-lying branch by running into it.
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A tree falls and no one hears it.
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Jack's doctor asks him if his parents have considered getting indoor plumbing.
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A man with a giant child asks his wife to burn Hop on Pop.
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A man is windblown and beat up because the wind is always at his back and the road rises up to meet him.
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A chiropractor hires delivery men with bad posture to bring him a fridge.
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New Year's Day in emergency room sees patients with champagne bottle cork injuries.
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A man hurts his arm when he's playing air guitar and his CD skips.
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A woman swears when a book about swearing falls on her.
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A woman hearing her son was in an accident is scared he's dead, but instead is horrified to hear he was wearing dirty underwear.
