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  • Cat stares at wall & fools pet owner looking for spider to sneak potato chips.
  • Pet owner with full fish tank says less fish look different in morning but fatter cat says nonsense.
  • Widow at grave says dead man’s last words were think I’ll give cat a bath.
  • Man asks if cruel dog that says he’s unloveable bites & lady answers in her own way.
  • Veterinarian asks painfully scratched man how cat did getting in pet carrier.
  • Santa Claus in sleigh thinks incompetent elf unevenly filling heavy, light & empty toy bags was grocery employee before.
  • Pet cats usually give dead mouse Christmas gift but this year living rodents presents startle owners.
  • Potato head mom tells son building snowman with bare face sibling’s pieces not what she meant when said include brother.
  • Naughty kitty on laptop hacks owner’s pets names website password to order mice, catnip, empty boxes & tuna fish.
  • Complaining owner asks naughty kitty why it knocked down Christmas tree & fir coat is pet’s reason.
  • Inexperienced cat says new potent catnip stronger moments before stoned kitties trashed messy livingroom.


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