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Woodpeckers retire to Balsa Acres.
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A 50-year-old wizard's most difficult problem is peeing.
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The old lady who lives in a shoe daydreams that her shoe is a rollerskate.
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A man grows very old on a never-ending non-stop train ride.
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Bifocals aren't enough for a fly -- he needs millifocals.
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Young turkeys get their wattles pierced.
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A doctor gives a woman a collagen injection in her eye instead of her lips.
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Darth Vader's hand hurts when he uses the Force to strangle someone.
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New parents receive their son as an adult because the stork outsourced its job to a sloth.
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A snake is sad because she was going to eat eggs but the nest was empty.
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A woman's husband wants to know how often she updates her Facebook because their dog has grown so big.
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A piece of wood can't fit into her jeans because she's no longer a 2x4.
