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Bad cat scratches, claws and gets in owner’s way committing reckless endangerment, obstruction, destruction of property and hand slaughter crimes.
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Dog tells sneaky date stealing food she’s lost in his eyes but not that lost, grabbing his paw.
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Woman on date asks man his relationship goals and he says “know intimacy” but she hears “no” and leaves.
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Pirate with wooden leg and hook hand has peg leg Christmas stocking hung on fireplace mantle.
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Raccoon and rabbit at beach play rock-paper-scissors to decide who applies sunblock to porcupine’s spiny back.
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Car is invented that has hands to push itself out of snowbanks.
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Warehouse’s shipping charges are mostly for handling by a large crowd of employees tossing packages around.
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Injured Butterfinger candies factory employees accidentally spill, trip and drop tools, coffee and boxes.
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Rather than praying, praying mantis prefers the non-denominational sending-positive-vibes mantis.
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Index fingers on rubber gloves are horrified to learn what they'll be doing.
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Mr. Potatohead must hold eyeballs closer to tv to see because he refuses to get glasses.
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The hand without a puppet makes for the worst puppet government.