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Naked man stung by jellyfish on nude beach has worse day than clothed man stung.
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Daily calendar Neal hasn't ripped any days off himself since the new year.
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After racquetball, a man has a racket bawl because exercising made him sore.
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On opposite day owner's cat greets him while dog apathetically naps.
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Flies do laps in pools of soups of the day.
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Is leap year really longer or do elections make it seem that way'
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Elves rip off calendar days so Santa wakes up thinking he missed Christmas.
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Kringle Energy Drink gives you energy to do all your work in one night like Santa.
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There's a 10 day waiting period for turkeys to buy deli slicers.
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Mosquito tries to convince woman to date him before first frost kills him.
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Dog's brother sleeps at end of bed when he needs a place to stay.
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Man's mom Twitters about how long it's been since he called her.
