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A tree falls and no one hears it.
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The Grim Reaper leaves Keith Richards alone because he already looks dead.
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Pinocchio goes shopping for paint to cover his bald spot.
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The hen that lays the golden eggs goes to the doctor because she's having trouble passing her eggs.
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Exiting the men's room, the scarecrow wishes he had some bran.
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The secret to the tasty dog water is the aging in the porcelain toilets.
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The secret to Twinkies' long shelf life is Dick Clark's DNA.
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The Green Giant puts compost on his head to get his hair to grow again.
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The Pillsbury Dough Boy is on an IV of BHT.
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Pavlov's dog keeps drooling as he gets older.
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The egg nog at the Christmas holiday party is so old that it's become chicken nog.
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Spanky from the Little Rascals has grown up and now does BDSM phone sex.
