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Bottle of wine at dating service, tells employee the girl for him should be complex, yet simple, smooth with character, delicate body, and bold.
Woman at dinner table tells guest not to mind Rufus the dog, he's being possessive because man is eating from bowl Rufus usually eats from.
Earth in space with hand of God visible, someone on Earth tells friend to take telescope and tell him what he thinks he sees.
Dorothy tells Dereck they haven't been dating, she's been researching a scientific study on undesirable men, she's done now, another researcher will follow up sometime.
Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
Sleeping glands include sandman gland that secretes gunk in eyes, peeyou gland that exudes foul-smelling paste in mouth, aaarrgh gland that makes fingers hit snooze.
Man in a cappella band remembers how he always forgot instruments when he was in bands, wonders what he could forget now, realizes it's his mouth.
Man lying on floor in Bakery World, "Where You Get the Attention You Deserve," with pie in his face, employee tells co-worker he deserved it.
Lamp is robbing sofa, sofa gives him comb, crayon, and French fry, lamp tells couch he knows there's loose change under his cushions.
Mom tells daughter ants crawled through floorboards, got into her casserole, Dad is taking care of them, while Dad gives the ants Pepto Bismol.
A child Leaning Tower of Pisa sits on sofa, his mom yells at him to sit up straight or he'll ruin his posture.
Alvin the chipmunk is on talk show telling host he didn't become one of the chipmunks overnight, he worked his way up starting as gofer.