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  • Hallmark cards for snowflakes all say "There's no one quite like you" inside.
  • Two snowmen can't tell the difference between eyes and teeth, because theirs are made of coal.
  • A dog thinks Thanksgiving is a day to act like him because his family is focusing on family and food.
  • A spork runs marital counseling between a fork and a spoon.
  • A woman thinks a man is lame for having nothing better to do than IM her on a Saturday night, but then she realizes she's doing the same thing.
  • A minion hatches into Big Bird.
  • Anteaters go out to dinner, but all the restaurants are called Ants.
  • A leprechaun looks through his closet to decide which green suit to wear.
  • A penguin confesses his love to the wrong penguin because they all look the same.
  • A cat looks for a date on a dating site.
  • A man has a dream every night that a stinky fish is crushing his chest, but actually his cat is sitting on his chest and breathing on his face.
  • Mrs. Claus cheats on Santa with a mall Santa.


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