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  • Dr. Seuss' shortest book is Yellow and White Eggs with Pink Ham.
  • The most romantic dog valentine ever says "I love you second to food."
  • A fish goes for the "dangerous type": a fishing lure.
  • A dog tells his owner that he's starting to feel like his second-best friend.
  • A woman can't decide if she wants to buy candy she likes or candy she doesn't like for Halloween.
  • A zombie and his girlfriend each order half a brain.
  • Sharks attacking a diver in a cage prefer cage-free divers.
  • Summer zombies show too much skin.
  • The three bears choose between hot, iced, and just right coffee.
  • A cat eats its friend's food because it tastes better when it's in someone else's bowl.
  • Salt likes to shake hands, but ketchup prefers fist bumps.
  • Cat confronts pet owner about using dog's name as computer password.


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