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  • Mr. Peanut's last words are "I'll be back in a Jif."
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy plays chess with Mrs. Dough Boy, but it's a stalemate.
  • A spider has indigestion because her husband is disagreeing with her.
  • A beaver wants to move, but he'll always live in the sticks.
  • A candle is annoyed she married a trick candle because he won't go out.
  • A praying mantis watches "All My Children" on the food channel.
  • Orion gets a gift of suspenders.
  • Gumby's wife's ultrasound shows that she's pregnant with a stick of gum.
  • The Jolly Green Giant's wife gets fertility treatments of moss, mulch, and compost.
  • A rock goes to a bar claiming to be the Blarney Stone.
  • A man who poisoned himself asks for an antidote, but his wife reads him an anecdote instead.
  • A man's trainer is impressed with his shrug form, but the man's good at it because he's been married for 8 years.


You searched for: marriage