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A coach yells at bench-warming football players for not warming the bench enough.
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The author lists what he learned from the cartoon Peanuts.
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Cats in a football huddle decide on the flea flicker.
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Charlie Brown plays virtual reality games where his life is better.
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Godzilla spoons people from the Sugar Bowl into his coffee.
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Football players are displeased with their new uniforms.
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A woman regrets flying coach because she's surrounded by big, smelly sports coaches.
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An anteater is annoyed because he was in the nosebleed section of a sports game.
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Fuzzy dice have to use Rogaine when they start balding.
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Charlie Brown imagines kicking Lucy's head off.
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Pigs draw straws to see who donates a skin graft to fix a football.
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Abraham Lincoln scores in four different sports.
