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  • A woman's insurance only covers the first result that comes up when her doctor Googles her symptoms.
  • Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, and Chickenhawk are the original angry birds.
  • Sneezy sneezes and ruins buffet line food for other seven dwarfs.
  • First rainbow sprinkles come from a unicorn's sneeze.
  • A young George Lucas edits films showing sister punched first.
  • Man mistakes wife's screams about crocodile for excitement over first crocus of spring.
  • Abraham Lincoln's kids use logs from cabin as Lincoln Log toys.
  • Man wants to sue twitters for plagiarizing "I'm having coffee."
  • Caveman label cave drawing with each other's name in first caption contest.
  • The line at a signing for "Put Yourself First" is a fight because everyone's trying to put themselves first.
  • Older cat at party thinks young cat on his first life is naive.
  • Swimmer misunderstands what freestyle swimming is and comes prepared to rap.


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