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Godzilla destroying city only eats half a Starbucks cafe because it’s too late for caffeine.
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Drunk loaded dishwasher at bar New Year’s Eve slurs can fit another glass but bartender refuses.
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Mosquitos see five-star Yelp restaurant review website for man with bug bites on laptop computer.
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Vampire at restaurant tells date he tried going vegan but you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.
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Mosquito ordering airline tickets on computer website picks peoples’ names as flight stops.
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Buffalo driver passes police sobriety test because no part was wasted.
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Cartoon characters from Peanuts, Marmaduke, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Chip and Dale, Deadpool, Felix the Cat, R. Crumb and Lego get treatment from the Betty Rubble Center for Recovering Toons.
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Man kept awake by loud partying lawn outside window has second thoughts about planting Mardi Grass.
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Santa catches Rudolph drinking red wine by the fire with his nose in the glass.
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Man on desert island is surprised by pumpkin spice flavored coconut.
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Cartoon characters are checked into the Betty Rubble Center for addiction recovery.
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Jupiter passes out after having too much moonshine.
