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A family wanted to get a dog, but the cats filibustered the decision.
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A dog goes to obedience school and a cat goes to disobedience school.
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A cat and a dog knock out a referee in a fight to see whose breath is worse.
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A rich dog made his money cheating at poker.
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A dog gets laser nose surgery and smells better.
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A poodle only looks muscular because he was groomed that way.
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A boy doesn't have the five-second rule in his house because his dogs eat any food that falls on the floor.
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Toto asks the Wizard of Oz for a liver.
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A dog feels calmer about his owner leaving the house because he follows him on Twitter.
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A woman's husband wants to know how often she updates her Facebook because their dog has grown so big.
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A man's relationship is like puppy love in that his girlfriend jumps on whoever's closest.
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A dog's girlfriend refuses to give him a treat just because he lay down.
