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A wine glass takes another wine glass's girlfriend home by accident.
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A whale goes on a date with a whale who mouth-breathes instead of using his blowhole.
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A dog instant messages his friends.
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An anteater is such an aggressive kisser that his tongue comes out his girlfriend's ear.
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A book hits on a woman at a bar.
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A parrot buys his girlfriend the wrong kind of cracker.
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A woman's husband never forgets their anniversary because he invented the time machine.
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A dog buys her husband his favorite food, anything.
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Godzillas go on a romantic walk on the beach, crushing people beneath their feet.
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A woman is confused how her husband has so many reward points at the jewelry store, because he spent lots of money there on other women.
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The most romantic dog valentine ever says "I love you second to food."
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Cupid tries to shoot two punks to make them fall in love, but his arrows keep hitting their piercings.
