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A man begs a doctor to induce his wife's labor so their baby will be a compatible star sign.
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It would be useful if babies' bellybuttons were snooze buttons.
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A baby only sleeps, eats, and poops, so cats think it might be another cat.
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A new dad thinks his baby blew a gasket.
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A baby thinks a woman's nursing degree took way too long because he learned to nurse in 4 minutes.
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A man accientally throws away his baby instead of a diaper.
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A chick hatches from an egg and worries about its security deposit.
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A teacher asks her class if they're using crib sheets because one of them is a baby.
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A dad tells his baby he'll have a hard time filling his shoes, but his baby poops in them.
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A baby sues a doctor for slapping his butt when he was born.
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A man wishes he could hear his new baby's thoughts, but the baby is hoping he doesn't inherit his dad's nose.
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Twins fight over who gets to leave the womb first.
