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People who went to a remastered version of Slap Shot come out with bruises from the hockey pucks.
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A man gets a ruptured spleen phone and a Sports' Most Violent Injuries tape with his subscription to Sports Illustrated.
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Amoebas complain that TV these days is nothing but senseless viruses and gratuitous dividing.
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Witches in the inner city are killing each other by shooting each other with water as they fly by on brooms.
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A vulcan dad tells his kid not to be scared because the green blood in the movie is guacamole instead of real blood.
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Easter eggs hide from man shooting at them during egg hunt.
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Heimlich's other maneuvers were just violent.
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Man holding pen wants autograph from tough-looking guy because they made a movie about him for mauling 2 dozen people with a writing instrument.
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Man laying on his back with another man attacking him is on phone with newspaper needing to reword his help wanted ad "seeking aggressive individual."
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Egg watching TV, show announces that episode of "Julia Child Makes Yummy Omelette" contains graphic scenes, viewer discretion is advised.
