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A turtle puts on a false head before he gets beheaded.
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When the tortoise and hare race again when they are middle aged, they both take a nap.
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A tortoise races a Hare Krishna.
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A turtle sneezes himself out of his shell.
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A turtle brings his shells to the laundromat.
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A turtle uses an anti-theft steering wheel lock on his shell when he's not inside it.
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A man gets on the news for being attacked by a snake and an alligator at the same time.
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Turtles look for new places to live, but all the good ones are on a golf course.
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A man waxes his car with turtle wax, while a turtle waxes his shell with car wax.
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A turtle imagines giving a talk to shell-less turtles.
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A turtle with three heads uses a carpool line.
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Turtle coming out of a store wonders where he parked because the parking lot is full of turtle shells that all look the same.
