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  • Misspelled famous monuments autocorrected to great whale of China, faster running Moai heads, pee leaking tower of Pisa and stoned hen Stonehenge.
  • Man asks Spider-Man which newborn baby in hospital bassinets is his as infant climbs ceiling.
  • Penguin asks penguin taking cellphone selfie photo if whole flock can use it.
  • Leprechauns at Saint Patrick’s Day party all say green is their favorite color.
  • Worried man shaped like fireplug hydrant tells date opening door he’s not looking forward to meeting her dog.
  • Woman on date asks man his relationship goals and he says “know intimacy” but she hears “no” and leaves.
  • Mom tells angry grandmother baby’s matching dress is perfect for chubby cheeks and chunky thighs.
  • Ed stopped using speakerphone after being misheard by colleagues.
  • Cat gets boring fortune read that his previous lives were exactly the same.
  • Woman who does have caffeine at home mistakes salt for sugar when making coffee at work.
  • Emojis get botox treatments to remove all personality from their faces.
  • Presents eye each other angrily at party because they are wearing the same giftwrap.


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