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  • Cat uses sand as litter box and ostrich uses same sand to bury head.
  • Cat writes How to Care for Your Cat website to get what he wants.
  • Psychologist asks cat about the last time he purred for someone else's happiness.
  • Dog thinks people claim chocolate is bad for dogs so they don't have to share.
  • If George Foreman ruled the world, everything would be named George.
  • A man finds a rudest nudist colony where people talk on cell phones and text impolitely.
  • Baby bird protests that mother is only regurgitating turnips.
  • The line at a signing for "Put Yourself First" is a fight because everyone's trying to put themselves first.
  • Female wears 3D glasses to add depth to her superficial date.
  • Paul Newman takes all of the 'Newman's Own' brand of salad dressing.
  • A toddler sweeps the house and takes everything, saying "mine!" all the time
  • A muscular hamster finally gets off the wheel.


You searched for: selfish