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  • Begging for quarters to play Pac Man was the original political action committee fund.
  • Drunk Han and Greedo argue over who took first shot.
  • Knights tested success of human cannonballs against castle walls.
  • Mom thinks baby's first word is mommy, but she's actually pointing at a mummy.
  • The early bird arrives at a party obnoxiously early.
  • A woman is confused how her husband has so many reward points at the jewelry store, because he spent lots of money there on other women.
  • The most romantic dog valentine ever says "I love you second to food."
  • A dog tells his owner that he's starting to feel like his second-best friend.
  • Narcissus looks at his reflection.
  • Christopher Columbus steals Leif Ericson's tweet about discovering the new world.
  • The early bird understands the worm.


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