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A woman names her cat Wedgie because he gives people wedgies.
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Heimlich's other maneuvers were just violent.
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A baby in a maternity ward resents the happy C-section baby next to him.
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A woman gets a 2-minute penalty for interfering with her husband's football game by vacuuming.
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A man stuffs a bird with bread because it complains about the breadcrumbs he's feeding it.
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A lion sings "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" in his sleep.
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A piece of luggage talks too much.
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A tap can't get to sleep because a man's mouth keeps dripping.
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An oyster gets her kids to irritate her husband so he'll make pearls.
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A fly trying to bother a heavy sleeper uses a megaphone.
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A man standing in the fires of Hell can handle the heat, but the noise of the smoke detectors going off drive him crazy.
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Boss is angry at chef because there's no white meat, and tells her she'd better think of something, while there is bottle of bleach on shelf.
