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Overprotective lemming parents want their son to wait half an hour after eating before throwing himself off a cliff.
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A cat feels like having 9 lives isn't special after seeing how many lives Kenny has on South Park.
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Kenny shows up in heaven and Saint Peter recognizes him because he's a regular.
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Eggs pretend to die for a dyeing contest.
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An asteroid hits Jerry Lee Lewis.
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Goldfish take the "Prolonged Upside-Down Float" out of their Olympic competition after their owner flushes one of them.
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A funeral director asks a chicken widow how crispy she wants her cremated husband to be.
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A woman's morning breath is so bad that it kills her husband.
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The Grim Reaper leaves Keith Richards alone because he already looks dead.
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A dead woman leaves her lingerie to her husband because he enjoys wearing it.
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Snuggles the Bear dies after being peeled off the lint trap of a dryer.
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The Grim Reaper has a motivational poster in his kitchen.
