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  • The early bird arrives at a party obnoxiously early.
  • A dog reporter says who was last at a fire hydrant based on its smell.
  • People's neighbors are good because they're fences.
  • The potato heads meet the potato torsos.
  • A tootsie roll thinks the Hershey kisses that visited were too affectionate.
  • A woman's husband never forgets their anniversary because he invented the time machine.
  • A bee reads Buzzfeed.
  • A bird's distant relatives -- dinosaurs -- arrive for the holidays.
  • Two people are squashed after no one mentions the elephant in the room.
  • A cat steals a man's toupee at a party.
  • Flash cards expose themselves to their playing-card hosts.
  • A girl doesn't bring her photo ID to Santa, so he takes her off the Nice list.


You searched for: visit