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Xmas mall Santa Claus tells women when asleep wool blanket makes her sweat & drools laying on stomach.
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Single wine glass at bar tells martini margarita is cute but can’t get past salt flake dandruff flaw dating deal breaker.
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Annoyed cup measures drinking glass spouse’s lazy chores, eating more & hogging bed.
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Grouchy cat boss knocks telecommuting owner’s paperwork off desk in harsh performance review.