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A computer confirms your identity by taking your wallet.
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A young Mr. Potatohead steals his dad's mustache to buy alcohol.
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A spider informant is annoyed that one of his 8 eyes is showing when his picture is displayed on tv.
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A corpse can't be identified, so police look at his LPs about teeth.
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Woman wonders why employees need to see her identification since she is paying cash, not realizing they are laughing at her driver's license photo.