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You searched for: animals

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  • One chicken tells another that his fried chicken leg is an old high school injury in Home Economics class.
  • Man tells friend that snakes feeling slimy is a myth, not seeing that snake swallowed friend, and friend thinks snakes feel slimy from the inside.
  • Felicia the cat plans her day, including sleep, trigonometric equations, developing theorems, eating, long division, and sleep, each activity in different positions.
  • Wife gives husband present, hopes he likes it because she had help picking it out, gift is a dead mouse, cat is at wife's feet.
  • Cat watches TV commercial saying 9 out of 10 cats prefer Ace Kitty Litter to using neighbor's yard, cat wonders about truth-in-advertising.
  • Man asks giraffe with severely crooked neck if he can go in first to visit the chiropractor.
  • Horse is terrified because the old lady who swallowed a fly and spider is coming, knows song ends with old lady swallowing horse and dying.
  • Two felines dining out in restaurant, one cat is embarrassed because he laughed and food came out his nose, mouse is hanging out of nose.

  • Mom can tell Spike the dog isn't happy with Bobby's new Mr. Potatohead because he has hat, eyes, mouth, and hands stuck to his backside.
  • Woman tells friend she goes into isolation chamber in her home when she wants to make tuna sandwich because she has house full of cats.
  • If people looked like breath smelled, first boss is dog, subway man is onion, some people are cigarettes, 8th grade teacher is pile of poop.
  • Cat feels like his birthday is uneventful, not knowing that right around the corner, a box of 50 pounds of catnip fell out of truck.


You searched for: animals