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A dog without a bone is sad, but a dog with no bones is a sack of skin.
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A man waxes his car with turtle wax, while a turtle waxes his shell with car wax.
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A fish encourages another fish to get on a hook because body piercing is chic.
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A dad dropping his daughter off at daycare tells her to get the pooping and spitting-up out of her system while she's there.
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A ram's big horns are out of style.
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A cat hasn't slept in two hours, so he goes to therapy.
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A pig teases her husband about his fat stomach.
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A chicken covers her chick's eyes when they past the chicken breasts at the supermarket.
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A dog leaves her husband and tells her she faked every time she wagged her tail.
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Mice are surprised the place they're looking at is a hole in the wall.
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Cats think the power button on the answering machine is marked that because turning it off gives them power.
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A homeless cat wants to pee on the rug and claw the furniture of a woman who feeds it.
