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Man on one knee proposing to girlfriend opens ring box to reveal a ringworm - a ring with a worm coming out of it.
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Derek recovered and only needed 7 stitches after asking girlfriend, who has a large beak, for just one kiss, a peck on the cheek.
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There is nothing like the sound of child's voice for woman, can opener for cat, tree falling for beaver, and "Ow, my thumb!" for hammer.
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Derek asks woman if she'd like to dance, she says yes, then says, "Wait, you didn't think I meant with you'".
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Stick of gum talking on phone tells friend she hasn't seen Ray all night, and he's probably stuck under some bar stool.
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Man in Chinese restaurant reads fortune cookie that says something is coming his way, just as tray of food is about to spill on him.
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Car salesman at bar is upset, tells friend the girl never loved him, she just wanted good deal on Mercedes, implying that he was used.
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Horse is terrified because the old lady who swallowed a fly and spider is coming, knows song ends with old lady swallowing horse and dying.
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Man with big ego tells woman after a few dates, she will find him absolutely super, while she is thinking superficial.
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Man wonders if there is any hope since he met another girl who won't give him time of day, girl's wearing several clocks and watches.
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Man thinks about date, he complimented service, asked for another date, showed her food on his dental floss, wonders why she got sick and left.
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Dorothy tells Dereck they haven't been dating, she's been researching a scientific study on undesirable men, she's done now, another researcher will follow up sometime.
