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A man steals a book about shoplifting.
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A woman being interviewed about a mime who committed murder says he was a quiet man.
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A man hurts his butt because he sits on a bike without a seat.
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The Mob puts a man named Longfellow on the rack.
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Prison inmate tells visitor to bake him a cake with a file in it, not for escaping, but for filing his ragged nails.
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A police detective looks at a poorly-drawn chalk outline, wondering if the murder victim was in bad shape or if the new chalk-outliner did a bad job.
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Reggie has job at framing shop, accidentally breaks glass trying to put frame on, he decides to make it look like his co-worker did it.
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Police officer suspects a copy-cat killing when he finds a dead feline on a copy machine with copies of the cat laying on the floor.
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Prison officer mice lead mouse to the electric chair, which is actually a plug-in night light with the bulb taken out.
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Thief tells victim that after he beats and robs him, his agent is available to discuss who will portray him in TV re-enactment, agent stands by.
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Two goats dead at dining table, police officer says it's probably poisoning, tells Lloyd to take boot they were eating back to lab for testing.