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A turtle bursts out of a cake for a party, but she takes so long that it gets stale.
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Lazy people at the gym use the elevatormaster instead of the stairmaster.
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A beefeater reveals that he's actually a vegetarian.
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A dog that's half chicken and half poodle is a cockadoodledoodle.
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The marching band practices on treadmills because it's raining and they needed to practice inside.
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A woman's insurance only covers the first result that comes up when her doctor Googles her symptoms.
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Psychologist asks cat about the last time he purred for someone else's happiness.
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Man asks man wearing monocle if he is a glasses-half-full guy.
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Soldiers are dizzy coming out of rocking Trojan horse.
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Birds see alligator's symbiotic relationship with bird as immunity.
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Doctor loses bet over length of patient's intestine.
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Squid tries to hide from mother-in-law in ink.
