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When eyes fall out on table, zombie apologizes.
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A pilot says he hopes the turbulence didn't wake up his passengers, because it woke up him and his copilot.
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A bird tweets during a meal because it's polite in his family.
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Kids can't use the sprinkler because their parents are using it for beer.
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A doctor gives a woman a collagen injection in her eye instead of her lips.
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A couple will have to wait for their butterfly shrimp because the chef has to catch the butterflies.
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Candles eat a candlelight dinner, but it's not romantic.
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Goldilocks regrets Baby Bear tattoo from her younger days.
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Husband blames caption contest cartoon for words that came out of mouth.
