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Santa wakes up a boy's parents to find out who's been forging his name on lame presents.
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A baseball player doesn't like playing on a field covered with Astros.
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A cubic zirconia hits on girl gems at a bar.
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A cat uses "freshly caught mouse" breath spray before a date.
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Judge tells jury to disregard phone word-balloon prosecution is holding over defendant's head, balloon says, "I'm guilty."