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  • Toddler asks Santa Claus for pacifier but mistakenly gets gift wrapped elf named Binky for Christmas present.
  • Autocorrected holiday texts change cornucopia to happy corn utopia, pelican pumpkin pie, apple cider cipher puzzles & sneaky dog dinner leftover left rover.
  • Naughty elf in man’s smartphone pocket butt dials ex-girlfriend, texts boss heart & swears at mom.
  • Customer says he wanted guitar covered in cartoon character pictures to be tuned.
  • Actor at medical appointment misunderstood doctor’s script is her prescription medication.
  • American & global football, US soccer, sports balls wait alone in bar for missing dates sitting beside them.
  • Excited dog runs to pee on tree in park who expects a warm friendly greeting.
  • Mortified guy on computer web meeting mistakenly shows naked bottom to teacher Mr. Proctor, not proctologist.
  • Sea predator shark testing eyesight at optometrist mistakes humans for seals.
  • Guy at restaurant mishears Medusa’s hissing snake hair as sizzling fajitas behind him.
  • Homeowners mistook workers sprinkling glitter sparkles on house for gutter pros.
  • Vampire drinking blood at bar says it doesn’t taste like Type A & bartender says bottle is a type o.


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