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Annoyed cup measures drinking glass spouse’s lazy chores, eating more & hogging bed.
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Vegans split avocado for lucky pit as meatless veggie wishbone.
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Magician sawing assistant in box hates math conferences as angry audience yells it’s not half.
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Avocado half can’t punch opponent in pit.
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51% of the population is thinking that they wish they had some dental floss.
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Lemon Aid stand rescues all the lemons from the lemonade stand next door.
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Frosty the Snowman stops smoking when he melts his face off trying to light his corncob pipe.
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A crab breaks its phone in half because it's texting angry.
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A dog that's half chicken and half poodle is a cockadoodledoodle.
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Dog won't fully commit to rolling over, so only his head is upside down.
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Man asks man wearing monocle if he is a glasses-half-full guy.
