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A woman says she's so comfortable with her date that she's going to change into a teddy, but she means a teddy bear.
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A man has been saving his spit in a jar for a week so he can swap it with his girlfriend.
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A woman holds her powdered nose on a date.
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A man's new cat steals his wallet.
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A woman avoids a man from the sales department by using Doo Doo Breath breath spray.
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So many women reject a man that he starts selling shirts that say "I Rejected Derek."
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A man asks for the most popular table in a restaurant, and people climb on it while he's trying to eat.
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Derek recovered and only needed 7 stitches after asking girlfriend, who has a large beak, for just one kiss, a peck on the cheek.
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Derek asks woman if she'd like to dance, she says yes, then says, "Wait, you didn't think I meant with you'".
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One acrobat says to another, Derekson, as he holds him on the trapeze, they are downsizing the act, and he has to let him go.
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Derek's plant is holding Tic-Tacs and Certs because Derek likes to talk to his plants, implying that his breath is bad.
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Derek is coincidentally about to be killed by a falling safe right as he is literally buying a farm from a farmer.