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A woman's cat latches onto her hand and gets stuck when she tries to give it a belly rub.
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Fish in a tank realize they've all been abducted.
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A woman isn't worried about getting spills on her clothes because there's cat hair stain guarding them.
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The cat dictionary doesn't have a word for 'obey,' while the dog dictionary lacks 'aloof.'
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A cat in heaven says he should have been suspicious about being put to sleep, because he never needed help sleeping.
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A kitten's parents are proud because he had his first meows, first steps, and first human blood.
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A dog without a bone is sad, but a dog with no bones is a sack of skin.
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A dad dropping his daughter off at daycare tells her to get the pooping and spitting-up out of her system while she's there.
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A cat hasn't slept in two hours, so he goes to therapy.
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A dog leaves her husband and tells her she faked every time she wagged her tail.
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Cats think the power button on the answering machine is marked that because turning it off gives them power.
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A homeless cat wants to pee on the rug and claw the furniture of a woman who feeds it.
